Here is another issue.
I'm writing from the perspective of this being some sort of scholarly creation of some character in the setting, such as all of this were real.
You'll note this from nearly any article I write.
You do this a bit too, but I noticed in the Blue Ox article that you started off with saying that it had origins in the myths and legends..
Just thought I'd mention that. I really don't want to seem like I'm trying to control how everything is.